


To Be Human

by litakelly



Category: Constantine (TV), Hellblazer, Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, First Time, Frottage, Human Castiel, M/M, Shower Sex, virgin!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-11 20:30:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2082108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litakelly/pseuds/litakelly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Constantine is cooling off in a hole in the wall bar and meets an unlikely stranger; Castiel is a recently fallen angel trying to adapt to being human and meets one of humanity's most unlikely protectors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone isn't familiar with either of the characters, this is each of them :)
> 
>  

John Constantine felt like hell. His body ached and he was currently attempting to cure a splitting headache with round after round of whiskey as he sat on a worn out stool in the musty bar next to his motel. The motel in question was a rundown dump in some shite town in Kansas, but it was cheap and took cash so he wasn’t complaining. He was only in this bloody town to pay his respects to the widow of an old friend and maybe track down his killer. It ended up being a gang of demons and the scene got pretty ugly; he was still getting his head straight after the mess and the adrenaline rush of exorcism always left him on edge. He’d hoped a pint and a smoke would calm him down but he was feeling especially wired tonight and it wasn’t quite doing the trick. _Bloody demons,_ he thought, _even after you send their ugly arses back to hell you still end up paying for it, either in casualties or just the shook-up bollocks and shot nerves._ He downed the last of the amber liquid and pushed his glass forward, indicating to the barman for another.

The door behind him creaked open and a slightly disheveled looking man entered wearing a zip-up dark red hoodie and jeans and looking lost and somewhat out of place. He looked around and approached the bar with trepidation, seeing Constantine and taking a seat just a few down from him. Closer up John could see that the man had a few days’ worth of stubble matching his scruffy brown hair, and looked tired and worn out. The man glanced at him and upon seeing his coat smiled fondly.

“I used to have a coat like that,” the man’s low voice murmured, “it was a good coat.”

Constantine looked down at it, “'t is a good coat, held up through some pretty rough shite.”

The man nodded thoughtfully; there was something particularly odd about him that he couldn’t quite place; something familiar, like meeting a relative of a close friend or an old soul. He considered the man for a moment then offered “buy ya a drink?”

“Oh, thank you, uh I don’t really know what one orders in this sort of establishment, some sort of alcohol?”

Constantine smiled, “that’s generally the idea,” he added as he caught the barkeeps attention.

“Ah, well, whatever he’s having I shall have the same” he told the bartender as he indicated to Constantine. The bartender nodded and poured him a glass of whiskey as well before retreating back down to the other end of the counter to clean glasses.

John lifted his glass, “cheers, mate” and downed half of the remaining liquid. The other man did the same and choked a little on the drink before forcing it down.

“Thanks,” he added, coughing and attempting to regain control. “I wasn’t expecting that, I’m still getting used to these human responses, they make it all look so simple.”

Constantine chuckled at that, this was one odd bloke. “So, what’s your story mate? Gotta name?”

“Ah yes, my name is Castiel, and my story is I’m afraid rather complicated.”

“Well, Castiel, nice to meet you, name’s John Constantine. Dunno ‘bout you but I ‘ain’t goin’ to bed anytime soon and I ain’t got nothin’ but time on me hands.”

Castiel sighed tiredly, “Well, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me,” Constantine grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel proceeded to tell John Constantine about how he had been an angel of the lord and had through a series of misguided events lost his grace and fallen from heaven. He explained how he had never appreciated the full effect of what it meant to be human and the burden of learning and attending to all of his body’s needs. How it had never occurred to him the strength of certain human urges and how terrifying and yet exhilarating it all was.

“Wow, that’s some story, mate” Constantine finally said, exhaling and downing the last of his drink. 

“Yeah, and nobody I tell ever believes it, so far everyone either assumes I’m crazy or making it up,” Castiel added ruefully. 

“Well, for what it’s worth, I believe you mate,” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah, I uh, I actually fight evil myself from time to time, even exorcised a demon earlier tonight. Came here to cool off, always feel pretty wired after a run down with one o’ them sodding pricks.” 

“How do you manage it? I mean how do you reconcile your humanity with hunting demons?” 

“Just take it one day at a time, mate” 

“It’s all so overwhelming, I’ve seen this world develop, seen these people evolve and grow, lived as a being of celestial intent and yet I have never felt so lost and confused as I have in my short time as a human. I just, I want to understand what it all means, to be human…” 

“Hell mate, fuck if I know, what does any of it _mean_ really? Any way you spin it it’s all just borrowed time before we bite the big one. I figure, might as well enjoy what I can and survive the rest… but trouble has a way o’ finding me, and I can’t seem to keep me bloody mouth shut when I see fucked up shite going on. ”

“Mm,” Castiel studied Constantine, searching his worn face, “you’re a good man, John Constantine”

“Well, I don’t know about that, mate—” John chuckled.

“No, you are,” he looked down at his now empty glass, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’ve actually heard of you; got a lot of attention both upstairs and down below,” Castiel indicated the ceiling then down to what was presumably hell. “You try, you’ve made mistakes but you do what you think is right. I know you've had to stand by while bad things happened, had to play witness.” Castiel's words made John bristle. "But in the end, you try to help people, you try to do better."

John scoffed, “yeah, well, good intentions aren’t always enough, mate” John stated grimly and swallowed the last of his drink.

“No, I guess not…” Castiel’s face clouded over with something akin to remorse, haunted by past mistakes. They were more alike than either of them would care to admit, but in that respect shared some kind of bond; their enduring pain, the stab of failure, and the desperate need for atonement.

They both sat in silence, contemplating choices made out of naivity or arrogance, in some cases a bit of both. It made Castiel feel small and foolish, and it made John want to bury his past, just keep drinking till it’s numb.

“Sod this mate, what’s say we have another round?” Constantine attempted to convince the barman to pour them each another drink but he told them it was already after two a.m. and insisted they pay their tab and get moving.

“Aw’right, aw’right we’re going,” John threw some cash on the counter and turned to Castiel. “Hey, I dunno ‘bout you but I still ain’t tired, I got a bottle in me room, care to join me for one more round?”

Castiel stumbled a little for a moment, “Well, I can’t say ’m not tired… but I’m still havin’ trouble figuring out this sleep thing,” he gestured vaguely.

John laughed and clapped him on the back, “Aw’right mate, follow me.” John lead him over to his motel room and leaned on the door frame as he dug in his coat for the key.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so I'm working on the next chapter and its gettin' hot and heavy but its my first guy-on-guy so please be patient with me and comments are greatly appreciated :)

Finding it John then fumbled to put the key in the lock but eventually managed it and wriggled it until the door opened. Pushing inside John threw his coat onto the nearest chair and grabbed the bottle of whisky off the table. He set out two glasses and sat down, then poured a generous amount of the drink into each, “there we are mate, cheers” he handed one of the glasses to Castiel who took it and sat down opposite him.

They drank quietly, appraising one another until Castiel broke the silence, “have you ever had sexual intercourse before?”

John choked on his drink for a minute then nodded, chuckling to himself, “yeah,” 

The room was silent for a moment.

“With another man?” Castiel added curiously. 

John was quiet for a moment then replied, “yeah, mate, why?” 

“I never have,” Castiel admitted plainly, “I mean there was an encounter with a woman, well, a Reaper, but I, I’ve never been with a man before.” 

“And, what? Yer curious ‘bout me particular exploits?” 

“Yes. And, well, you are a very attractive man, and you’re quite mysterious. My friend told me that ‘chicks dig’ that ‘kind of thing’” Castiel finished with awkward air quotes making John chuckle again. 

“I ‘sppose. I’ve been with women, lots o’ women, and occasionally blokes. Not as many, but they were definitely memorable.” John considered his past lovers, then leaned forward staring intently into Castiel’s eyes, “But that ain’t the only reason you asked, is it mate?” 

Castiel blushed, _Blimey, I just made an angel blush._ John smiled to himself, he’d never been with an angel before, in his experience most of angels were right gits, sticks up their arses the lot of them, but this fallen angel was… was… something, there was something about him. _He’s bloody hot is what he is. Wait, what? Christ I’m bloody pissed._ John regained control slightly but realized that he wanted Castiel, he wanted Castiel bad and even after all the alcohol his dick began to show interest at the sight of this fallen angel blushing in front of him. 

“I guess not. I… I… I’m intoxicated…” Castiel paused nervously, “and, I… I want to kiss you…” he looked into his eyes imploringly.

John grinned and set his drink down, then stood, “well then, come on mate,” 

Castiel stood up nervously, John took his drink from him, finished it in one go and placed it beside his own. He looked at Castiel hungrily, “well, first things first,” he unzipped Castiel’s sweatshirt and pushed it off his shoulders, grinning as he felt Castiel tense momentarily. _Jesus, bloke’s really never done this before, and I’m his first… better make it good._ “S’alright, just getting a little more comfortable, yeah?”

Castiel nodded and tentatively brought his hands up to undo his tie and slowly pulled it from around John’s neck. John felt his cock beginning to stir and decided it was time to even the playing field.


	4. Chapter 4

It’d been a while since John had shagged another bloke but it wasn’t the type of thing you forgot. John had always taken comfort in that being with someone carrying the same equipment provided a certain home field advantage, and he knew just how to take this man apart.

He curled his fingers into the short brown hair at the other man’s nape and dragged him close roughly and for a moment their eyes connected and they just breathed each other in.

Then suddenly John closed the distance between their lips in a bruising kiss. Castiel briefly noticed the burn of Constantine’s stubble against his own but lost coherent thought as John pushed into his mouth and began to suck on his tongue. He groaned and surrendered completely to this mortal man, feeling himself begin to lose control.

John pulled back slowly nipping along Castiel’s jaw down to his neck and slid one hand down Castiel’s side, over his hip and into his trousers. Castiel jerked slightly in surprise but as John’s hand brushed his cock it twitched in interest. John smirked and began to stroke Castiel whose breathing hitched as he became unsteady on his feet. John brought his other hand up under the back of Castiel’s shirt and firmly supported the small of his back as the fallen angel panted against his neck.

“This what you want angel?” Constantine breathed roughly, “Want to feel mortal, feel human… want to feel what it’s like to be alive?”

“Yes,” Castiel panted as his eyelids fluttered closed and John once again devoured his mouth. John could feel the other man’s last defenses fall and knew he had him where he wanted him.

John began to walk Castiel backwards toward the bed and slowly eased him down onto the cheap motel bedspread. John pinned Castiel, stealing kisses as he brought his hand up to cup Cas through his jeans making him whimper and twist underneath him helplessly.

“Aw’right luv?” John breathed huskily in Castiel’s ear, his accent thickened with liquor.

Cas panted, “yes, yes, ungh aaah yes.”

Constantine smiled against his neck, “mmm, yer still using coherent words, must not be doing me job properly” and unzipped Castiel’s jeans to slip his hand back inside to fondle his balls. Castiel’s breathing sped up and John removed his hand “what say we get rid o’ some of these clothes, eh?” and helped Cas pull his shirt over his head. Castiel pulled John’s collar back and began sucking on his neck, then buried his hand in the other man’s blonde hair pulling him even closer. 

“Mmm ah, ah Cas, you sure you ah… never done this before?” John groaned and began unbuttoning his shirt, then pulled back to remove it from his shoulders and throw it on the floor. Cas slid his hands under John’s remaining undershirt and caressed his abdomen, John hastily pulled it up and over his own head, desperate to feel his bare chest against Castiel’s. As soon as their skin touched they both groaned and scrabbled at each other needing more.

”Jeezus Christ, Cas, I want you so bad,” John undid his own trousers and kicked them off and began helping Castiel remove his jeans. John moved down Cas’ stomach nipping at his flesh then sucked on his hip as he divested Cas of his remaining clothing. 

“Uuuuuunh John, I feel hot all over,” Castiel’s normally deep voice broke off “my skin feels like it’s on fire, is this normal? I feel so overwhelmed, but it’s, it’s incredible!”

“Mmm, luv, this is one of the good parts ‘bout bein’ human, taking each other apart, are ya ready luv? Are ya…? Cuz I’m gonna take ya apart…”

John slowly kissed the head of Castiel’s semi-erect cock and Cas groaned, “uuunnnnhhh apart? Whaddyou meeaaahhh!” John swallowed Castiel down and began slowly bobbing his head up and down over his cock. Cas buried one hand in John’s hair and the other in the bedspread trying to hold on.

John eased back as he lifted his hand up to Cas’ face, putting two fingers in front of his mouth, “suck.” Castiel couldn’t comprehend why but did as he was told and sucked on the proffered fingers. John continued to tease and lick Castiel’s swollen cock as he slipped one of the wet fingers down past Castiel’s balls, gently massaging his perineum. Castiel gasped and tightened his hold in John’s hair but continued to pant and groan. John took him deeper into his mouth as he slowly breached Cas’ body and rubbed small circles over the other man’s hip as he carefully began to push the finger deeper inside of him.

“Huh, huh, wha, what, what are you doing to me?” Castiel tried weakly.

“I’m getting’ ye ready luv, wanna make it good for you, so ‘m gonna take me time, ease you open real good, how’s it feel?”

“Guuuuuhhh, goooood, sooo gooood, I ah, I never knew this could feel sooo good”

John grinned mischievously as he continued to open him up, “Good, just wait, this is nuthin’” and he began to thrust his finger in and out making Castiel arch off the bed and moan wantonly. “Beautiful luv, bloody gorgeous ye are, just wait, I’ll show you what pleasure really is.” John murmured appreciatively.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally got the good stuff done, whew, hope you enjoy. Comments are greatly appreciated, and I'm hoping to have a quick little morning after scene up soon :)

Soon John was able to add another finger and thrust shallowly while Castiel cried out and begged for more. It was all John had to continue working him open patiently ensuring that he was ready, “one moment luv, gotta grab somethin’ from me bag,” he assured Cas as he gently removed his fingers. Castiel whimpered pathetically at the loss and Constantine smirked as he dug in his duffel for the tiny bottle of lube he kept for lonely nights when his hand was his only comfort. 

“Aha, ye bastard,” he retrieved it and a condom out of his wallet knowing it wasn’t really necessary being that Cas was a virgin but thought he’d grab it all the same.

When he turned around John was faced with a writhing aroused ex-angel lying on his bed and thought all his Christmas’ had come at once. John slipped off his own pants for good measure and climbed onto the bed, growling with lust. He lifted one of Cas’ legs over his shoulder and poured lube onto his fingers before dipping down and sucking on his balls. Cas made a wrecked sound and John brought two fingers back to Castiel’s entrance; after earning him a groan of approval John added a third finger and Cas keened, writhing on the bed in pleasure.

“There it is, that’s the spot,” John grinned as he worked his digits deeper, massaging the angel’s prostate and making him lose any semblance of control.

“Unnnnghhh guhhh, God, aaahhh, ah, oh, Jawwwnnn, pl-please, please,” Castiel begged.

“Yeah? You like that angel? Tell me, tell me what you want…”

“Uhhh, uh, huh, huh, ah, ma-moooore, please, aaah unnngghhh”

“Luv, your wish is my command” John was aching to finally be inside this gorgeous angel, he’d nearly come from the sight alone. It had taken reminding himself of some of the uglier demons he’d fought to hold off that long so now that he needed it back at attention he stroked himself urging it back to its rather impressive size. 

Castiel lifted his head to see what had stolen his attention and let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding at the sight. John had his head tilted back, his brow furrowed in concentration as he slowly dragged his fist over his rapidly growing member. He opened his eyes and began to pant as his eyes locked with Castiel’s.

John made a choked sound, “Bloody hell, I think ‘m ready,” and poured some lube on his swollen cock, hissing as the cold liquid hit his hot, sensitive flesh. He leaned forward over Castiel and lined it up with Cas’ entrance. “You ready?” he panted, every nerve in his body vibrating with anticipation.

Cas nodded, not trusting himself to formulate words. John slowly pushed in past the tight ring of muscle, Cas tensed at first but John continued to rub soothingly against his hip as he eased the head fully inside. He waited there for a moment, barely able to resist thrusting into the tight heat. He’d forgotten how good it felt and almost forgot himself at the initial sensation. When he felt the muscles slowly relax he gradually slid all the way in till he was seated fully inside him and closed his eyes and took a deep breath. John paused, attempting to give Cas a moment to adjust and looked up to his face to gauge his reaction. Castiel looked slightly shocked but overall enraptured by the feeling of being filled, any weariness that been there previously seemed to have fled as he experienced this new sensation.

John rubbed Castiel’s thigh then whispered, “you ready for the good part, luv?”

Castiel blinked at him looking bewildered, “there’s more?”

John grinned mischievously, “oh yeah,” and pulled back slowly before thrusting back in.

John began to set up a pace thrusting shallowly in and out at a consistent rate and Castiel gripped John biceps relishing the fullness.

“How is it angel? How does it feel?” John breathed.

“Unh, uhn, ooh, it’s unbelievable, it makes me feel, unh, so… full, so, so… whole…”

John paused for a moment looking down at Castiel and smiled, then leaned down and kissed him slowly, passionately, holding him in his arms. He began to thrust deeper as he kissed him, their tongues tangling together in a smoldering embrace.

John could feel himself rapidly approaching his climax but attempted to hold off as long as possible. He gently untangled their arms and lifted himself up to look at Castiel’s face before he reached one hand down to stroke Castiel’s cock which bobbed between them. Cas gasped and let out a deep groan as his body began to tense.

“Come on luv, that’s it, cum for me,” he murmured as he sped up his strokes and angled himself more until he was thrusting against the bundle of nerves which made Cas cry out in ecstasy. He began to thrust in time with his fist as Castiel’s whole body became one taught rigid muscle and he dug his nails into Johns shoulders, clutching at him for dear life. John panted harder giving himself over completely and thrusting with abandon.

“Ah, ah, ah, ahgawd, ahh, ahhhh, gonna cum, luv, together, come on luv,” Castiel’s cock exploded between them as his tight arse clenched around Constantine’s cock, milking him for all he was worth as he grunted and bucked against him.

They both collapsed in a pile of sweat and limbs, breathing against each other’s hot skin. John grimaced slightly as he gripped the ring of the condom and pulled out gently, he eased it off his sensitive flesh and then tied it off. He climbed off the bed to drop it in the bin and grabbed a flannel, wetting it and returning to the bed to clean them both off. Castiel looked dazed, one arm thrown over his head and the other petting his own abdomen absentmindedly. 

“You alright there, mate?” John gave him a half smile.

Castiel was silent, John became nervous, fearing he’d been too rough towards the end until Castiel spoke quietly. “I thought that there was nothing left for me in this world but pain, and loneliness. It felt cold and hollow, but you, you made me feel whole… thank you” the last part so quiet Constantine almost missed it.

It was John’s turn to blush as he turned away slightly and scrubbed at his hair with one hand sheepishly, “I’ll take it that means you enjoyed yourself then, ‘m glad, that was pretty bloody incredible for me too.”

Cas rested his hand on John’s arm and gently pulled him back to lay beside him; Castiel studied his face, still holding John’s shoulder. John leaned forward and brushed his lips against Castiel’s, then tilted his forhead against the other man’s.

“I’m knackered,” John murmured and moved to pull the mussed blankets up and over them, “what’s say we get some sleep?”

Castiel gently nodded his assent, his eyelids growing heavy as John pulled the blanket over him. Cas yawned and stretched slightly before dozing off. _I can’t believe that just happened, I just shagged a bloody angel, well, ex-angel but impressive nonetheless,_ John chuckled to himself, _one more thing to cross of me bucket list I s’ppose,_ and drifted off as well.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning John awoke to find a pair of deep blue eyes peering at him curiously; he was startled for a moment, almost jumping out of bed until he remembered the man attached to them.  


John scoffed blearily, “Bleedin’ hell Cas, you nearly gave me an ‘eart attack.”  


Castiel looked confused, “I apologize. That was not my intention. In your sleep, you–”  


“What, did I snore?” John laughed and sat up, stretching his neck and rubbing his eyes.  


“You looked peaceful,” Castiel continued.  


John snorted, “I was asleep, how else am I suppos’d to look?”  


“No,” Castiel corrected, “You looked… at peace.”  


John stopped for a moment, then turned slightly back giving Cas a soft, knowing smile, “I was.”  


“Because we had intercourse?”  


John laughed again, “Yes, ye silly bastard, ‘s not every day a man finds ‘imself deflowering an angelic being, turns out to be quite the aphrodisiac.”  


Castiel furrowed his brow and tilted his head slightly in confusion; John just smiled and shook his head.  


“I’ve met blokes from every end of the earth, but I ain’t ever met anyone like you before Cas,” John was quiet for a moment then added hesitantly, “what I mean to say is… I had a really,” John shook his head again, “really, good time last night.”  


Castiel smiled, his eyes meeting john’s, “I had a good time last night as well. I am aware of the chemical release of endorphins that humans find pleasurable as well as the physical intimacy that they so value but to find someone with whom I could connect emotionally, spiritually even, I did not expect.”  


“Well look mate, I don’t know about all that–” John cut in hastily.  


“Does the mention of spirituality make you uncomfortable or that of intimacy? Which frightens you more?”  


John froze with his mouth open, “I–” he was unsure as how to continue. _Whoa whoa just because we shagged doesn’t mean we have some kind of spiritual connection, we only met last night and already he’s talkin’ bout intimacy and–bloody hell, is he right? No, it was just–just… Different. He’s different. It’s been a long time since anybody called me out on intimacy issues, Christ and he hardly knows me. But that’s just it, he does know me._  


John started to get up off the bed, "Look mate, I'm not really the type for all this analytical Freudian shite so if that's what you're lookin' for–" once again Castiel looked confused. John sighed and scrubbed at his neck before dropping his arm back against his side, “what I mean to say is, I’d rather not overthink it ‘r else me bloody head might explode, and the hangover is liable to do that already. I just know that I had a good time; you're a good bloke, and a bloody damn good shag.”  


Castiel still looked confused but his brow unfurrowed and he seemed content with John’s explanation.  


“Look, I need to be off soon, but I definitely need a shower first, care to join me?” John smiled mischievously at Cas.  


“In the shower?”  


“Yep”  


“Is that something humans often do?”  


“It’s something smart ones do.”  


“Hm, alright, is it more efficient hygienically speaking in terms of hard to reach areas?”  


John grinned even wider, “Come on, I’ll show ya,” and headed into the bathroom.  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus! I decided to add a little shower scene before the boys say goodbye, enjoy ;)

Once under the warm spray John began massaging Castiel’s shoulders, making the angel tilt his head back and let out a deep breath. John continued and began leaving soft open-mouthed kisses against the back of Castiel’s neck; Castiel’s heart rate elevated and his cock began to stir.  


“Curious,” Castiel breathed huskily, “you seem to have found an erogenous zone I was unaware of.”  


John smirked and nipped at Castiel’s ear playfully before sliding his hands down Cas’ arms and back up and onto his chest. Castiel let out a soft moan and leaned into John who slowly worked one hand down his abdomen and breathed in his ear, “this is why smart people shower together.”  


Castiel chuckled, “I’m starting to understand, but I’m ah, not quite sure I get it yet,” they both smiled.  


“Hmm, well I’ll really have to be more direct then,” he moved his hand further down and began to stroke him, “how ‘bout now?”  


Castiel let out an even deeper moan, “uuuunnhh yeah, I think I’m starting to get it, ahhh”  


John pulled him closer so that his own rapidly growing erection nudged against Cas, his own sensitivity making him wince slightly. He grabbed the soap and lathered it against Castiel’s back and down over his arse before pressing himself up against him and resumed steadily stroking Castiel’s now fully engorged member. Cas began to sway, a little unsteady, and John pulled him flush against himself and began sliding his erection between Castiel’s cheeks as he pumped the rigid cock in his hand.  


Cas began letting out little breathy sounds and John latched onto the spot between his neck and shoulder, sucking bruises into the flesh. John sped up more and more until the two were panting and writhing against one another until finally Castiel painted the shower wall with cum and John followed spilling on Cas’ arse and back. After he came down and regained his breath he resumed gently cleaning him off and pulled Castiel around to face him. They kissed and savored in the afterglow, knowing each moment brought them closer to the end. The water began to run cold and they clambered out and pulled their clothes back on.  


“So… John, what do we, I mean where do we go from here?” Cas shifted nervously.  


“Well, mate, we go our separate ways,” John sighed and grabbed his bag.  


“Right,” Cas agreed, somewhere between relieved and disappointed.  


John sighed, “you gonna be alright, Cas?” he looked over at Cas and their eyes met, a moment passed between them and words became unnecessary. Their eyes broke apart and both men looked away, John nodded and rubbed at his stubbly chin.  


“You know what, for the first time in a while I think I will be alright. Starting over, a new chapter.” Castiel smiled and followed John out the motel door, and just before they parted ways Castiel kissed John once more. “Thank you, John, for reminding me that there is more to being human than pain… that I am not alone.”  


John smiled cheekily, planted another quick bruising kiss on Castiel’s lips and whispered huskily, “it was my pleasure” before turning and walking off, lighting a cigarette as he went and letting his coat blow around him in the wind.  



End file.
